Birds of a Feather, Flock Together: The 3 Steps to Input with Purpose

What My Dad Meant By "Birds of a Feather"

My dad used to say, "Birds of a feather flock together." At the time, I think he was warning me about the kids he didn’t want me hanging around. What he was really saying was: who you spend time with matters.

You’ve probably also heard, “We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.” Both sayings hold deep truth. The problem is, most of us don’t apply them intentionally.

How We Default Into the Wrong Circles

Think about it. Most people go to schools they didn’t choose, and form friendships mostly by chance. Then we take a job and build relationships with coworkers, not because we’re aligned with them, but because we’re in the same building.

We move into neighborhoods and end up spending time with whoever lives next door. Even with family, we often give our time by default, not by design.

Here’s what our brains are wired to do:

• Seek pleasure,
• Avoid pain,
• Conserve energy.

That wiring can make it easy to drift into friendships or routines that feel safe or familiar, even when they don’t serve us.

But here’s the truth: if you don’t choose your input on purpose, you’ll end up average, at best.

I Had to Check Myself Too

Not long ago, I had a conversation with my wife about this very thing. I started wondering if I was short-changing myself by not being intentional about who I spent time with.

So, I did an audit. I looked at my friends, my family, my business relationships. Was I showing up on purpose? Or was I just drifting into easy conversations and familiar patterns?

That audit led to some changes.

It’s Not Selfish to Protect Your Growth

When I talk about this with coaching clients, they sometimes say, "It feels selfish to only spend time with people who lift me up."

Here’s what I say: it’s not selfish, it’s responsible.

This doesn’t mean you avoid people in need. It means you stop letting complainers, blamers, and energy-drainers dominate your time.

Sometimes negativity is subtle. Little jabs. Sarcasm. Settling talk. That used to be me! I’d say things like:

“Just livin’ the nightmare.”

“I’d complain, but nobody listens.”

If that’s your current pattern, no shame. You can change. I know, because I did.

Your Time Is Too Valuable to Waste

Many of us stay stuck in relationships or routines that don’t serve us because:

• We think we owe someone our time,
• We’re afraid to set a boundary,
• We don’t feel worthy of something better.

But guess what? We only get so many breaths. There are no do-overs.

If you want to live an extraordinary life, you’ve got to live on purpose.

The 3 Steps to Input with Purpose (From Proud Parenting)

Step 1: Perform an Audit

Look at your circle. Do the people you spend time with affirm your value, your goals, and your progress? Or do they drain you? Even well-meaning people can crush your dreams with doubt.

Step 2: Plan Your Input

Use your calendar as a filter. Intentionally choose media, conversations, and time blocks that move you forward. Recreation is fine, but only choose inputs that uplift, educate, or align with your values.

Step 3: Seek the Uplifting

You are responsible for finding the people, podcasts, books, and communities that energize you. They’re out there. Find them. Invest in them.

You’re Worth the Effort

If you’re doubting yourself, take my word for it: you’re worth the effort.

Like my grandma used to say, "You can’t make chicken out of chicken shit."

Well… you can. It just doesn’t taste good.

You can’t live an extraordinary life with average input.

So choose your input with purpose. Audit your time. Set boundaries. Stretch into the life you were meant for.

And remember: You cannot fail as long as you Don’t Ever Stop Chasin’ It.