Why Most Communication Fails - and How to Fix It
Welcome From the Round Pen With Purdy
Welcome to this week's You Are Destined For Greatness. I appreciate you taking the time to be with us today. I'm coming to you from the round pen with my good two-year-old mare, Purdy, and I think she is pretty! Anyway, today I want to talk to you a little bit about communication.
The Root of Miscommunication
So here's the deal with communication: it is estimated that 80% of all communications are not clearly understood. I believe that's true. Here's why, okay? We are all totally unique individuals. It goes like this: we all come into this world as little babies with our totally unique DNA and brain. There’s none other like it. There never has been on Earth, and there never will be another human being with our exact DNA or the same raw material to work with, okay? Even identical twins have slightly different DNA. So, that's totally unique. That’s our processor—the tool we use to make meaning.
As we go through life, we have experiences all day and all night. Our brain takes in input from these life experiences. Here’s the thing: no one else has the same experience that I do. It’s totally unique—just as your experience is totally unique. Your DNA is totally unique. Your experience is totally unique. Those two things combined determine how you make meaning. Therefore, it’s a miracle we can even have any communication. If you’re picking up half of what I’m putting down, we’re doing good, right?
What Communication Really Is
The first piece of communication is to understand what it is, okay? Communication is not just words or typed letters in a text or an email. Communication, by my definition, is understanding. What that means is that I understand you, and you understand me. When we have mutual understanding, communication has occurred. Until then, it hasn’t.
Now, let’s take this idea further. When you try to communicate across species—like when I try to communicate with my mare here—you can imagine the challenge. There’s even more different DNA and even more different life experiences, right? So, how do we make this work and have successful relationships?
How to Build Better Communication
The first part I want to suggest is to enter into communication without expectations. Intentionally adopt the thought that the other person is coming from a different place, and they may not attach the same meaning to the words you’re using. If you understand that, it becomes the foundation for good communication. Without good communication, here’s what happens: frustration, hurt feelings, damaged relationships, and eventually, a cycle of unhappiness. You don’t want that to be you.
Closing Thoughts
Alright, more on communication to come, but remember this: You Are Destined For Greatness.
