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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this episode of the Stable Parenting Podcast. My name is Shane Jacob, your host, and I thank you for taking your time to be here with me today.
You know, I've been thinking about what we want most for our kids. And I hear a lot from parents, and you know what I hear from parents? I hear them say, “Happiness.” Some say to have a better life than they had, to have a higher standard of living than they had, to be successful. However, that is what you might define as success, to have the higher standard of living.
What else do I hear? I hear that our kids might find a good spouse, that we want our kids to be loved and appreciated, to get a good education, to be financially independent and financially secure, and so on.
These are the kinds of things that people say that we want for their kids. And it kind of sounds like, well, exactly what we want as adults and parents as well, for ourselves.
And, but the interesting part of this is, is that I don't, did you ever notice, okay, that everything that we want for ourselves and for our kids is because of a feeling? Okay.
Everything on the list of things we want for our kids is either, is either a feeling or it's because of how a thing or a circumstance will make us feel or make them feel. Happiness, feeling.
A higher standard of living, why? Why? Because of how we think a higher standard of living will make us feel. Success, because how thinking or how we're successful, because of how success feels, right?
To be loved, the feeling. To be educated, because of how we think being educated will make us feel, or because we think it will give us a higher standard of living and how that will feel. Financially independent, why? Because of how that feels, the peace of mind and the financial peace that that brings.
Several years ago, I wrote my own, I wrote my personal constitution. It's kind of like a personal, it's basically another name for that is a personal mission statement. And I described what I wanted my life to be about, okay? My most important goals, what I wanted to accomplish in this lifetime.
And I call it my constitution just because I like how it sounds. And it's what, because it's what I want my life to constitute. Okay. And I say it every morning, and I believe in it, and I'm going for it.
What I realized one day, I was saying it and looking at it and reading it and going through my morning routine, and you know what I realized? Everything on my constitution of the things that I want to accomplish in this lifetime was because of feeling, either was a feeling or it was because of the feeling.
What we want, you know, we don't want certain things. We do want certain things, but a lot of times we don't realize why we want those certain things.
We want those certain things because how it'll make us feel. Either having money, either how having money will make us feel, like more secure or safer. Or what we can buy with the money, how that will make us feel, right?
If I have that thing, it's not because necessarily I'll have the thing. It's because if I have the money to buy the thing, of how I'll feel when I have the thing or how I think I'll feel, anyway.
Having enough money to have those certain things. My goals are to have certain things, on my, in my constitution, my goals are to have certain things like peace of mind, a sense of acceptance, self-love, a sense of accomplishment, and a sense of approval of God.
Every one of those things that I just said there in my personal constitution is a feeling. Okay.
You want good health. Why do you want good health? You want good health for your kids. Why? Because of how you feel when you're healthy. Or the things that you can do when you're healthy, how they make you feel.
You don't want to have bad health because of how you feel when you have bad health, when your health is bad.
So I'm going to tell you something right now that is amazing. Okay. It might just blow your mind. So just hold on a minute, just take a quick pause. Be with me right here, just check this out. Okay? Because this is a really key point to all this. Okay.
Did you know that all these feelings that I've been talking about, about all the things that you want and you want for your kids, did you realize that they are available to you right now? Right now. Right this second.
Not next week, next month, next year, next decade. They're available right now today to you. And by the way, to your kids if they'd like to have them.
And you know, when I realized this, that I didn't need to wait for anything to feel how I wanted, I could have it right now. How about that? Happiness, you can have that today. Peace of mind, self-love, a sense of accomplishment.
You know what? So I started working on feeling like that every day. And I do, I work on it ongoing, and it's made a super significant difference in my lifetime.
The thing of it is, is that feelings are a result of thoughts. And if I notice what thoughts cause me to feel a certain way, I can intentionally think certain thoughts that will cause me to feel how I want. Okay?
It's not any more complicated than that. A lot of times we try to overcomplicate it. It is not any more complicated than that. Okay?
Not after I do any other thing than decide what to think. I don't have to wait for anything other than me choosing to decide what to think.
Not when I have more money, not when I have a better job, not when I have a better car, not when I have a better horse, a better wife. Actually, I don't think I could have a better wife myself right now.
But no circumstance, okay? There is not going to be any circumstance, ever, that is going to make me or you or your kids feel anything. Okay?
The thoughts that I attach to what happens or my circumstances is what causes me to feel how I do. Okay, And what causes all human beings to feel how we do.
Everything in, everything that you and I want to feel right now, it's available. It's available right now.
Happier? Change your thoughts. More successful? Change your thoughts. Love? Change your thoughts.
The things that we want for our kids, they're available right now too. And we can't control what they're thinking. Okay. We can't put thoughts in their mind that will cause them to feel a certain way, because that's their own agency.
But you know what we can do? We can lead them by our example. Okay. The way that we live our lives has more impact on our children than anything that we could possibly do anyway. We've talked about that multiple times on this podcast, I have.
But when you learn how to manage your mind, okay, you can choose how you feel much of the time. Then you can teach your kids how to manage their own minds, and they'll listen.
You know why they'll listen? They'll listen and they'll want to know, and you'll have their cooperation because they will have, they will see how you live and they'll want to feel how you feel.
Though, remember, even though we don't, the goal isn't to feel good all the time. For example, a couple of days ago, I was a guest on another podcast, and the host of this other podcast was talking to me about a cat that died. Okay.
Now most of us don't want to be happy or feel good about loss or death. Okay. We might celebrate the life of somebody that's gone, but we want to grieve and feel sad at a time. Okay. And so there's times that we don't want to always feel good.
Okay, about half of life is going to be what we consider to be negative or to have uncomfortable feelings. That's the way it is. It must be that way. Because just like Scripture says, “There must need to be opposition in all things.”
We must experience and know darkness so that we can appreciate the light, so we can know what it is.
And when our kids and the rest of the people that we come in contact with, when they see us feel negative emotion, and just be with it… When they see us feel life rather than immediately rush to something that'll make us feel better in the moment but that'll hurt us in the future. When our kids and other people see us feel positive emotions on purpose without relying on things or circumstances or other people to dictate how we feel. When our kids and other people see us learn how to manage our minds, they see us live in a higher quality of life.
They see our capacity to love increase. They see our capacity to give increase. They see us evolve and progress. And they see how that affects us and the people around us. And they want to have what we have. They want to have it because they can see what it's doing for us in our lives.
And that's what we do in Stable Living Coaching.
You don't have to wait for anything. You don't have to wait for a single thing other than the decision in your own mind in order to feel peace, to feel successful, to feel joy, to feel loved, to feel worthy of everything that is good in this world. Okay.
And, you know, I want you, I want you to feel deserving. I want you to feel adequate. I want you to feel forgiven. I want you to feel joy, and I want it for your kids too. And it's available to you.
Okay. And it's available to them, right now. Okay.
When you feel like the total bad-ass that you are, you've increased your capacity to love. You've increased your capacity to connect and to give all that you can to the ones that you love the most. Okay.
And I want the very best for you, all the very best that there is. And for you to know that you can have it, and you don't have to wait for something to happen.
If you want to feel better, feel more in control, not beat the mercy or feel like you're at the mercy of something or someone else, and if you want to live with more joy, I encourage you to join me in Stable Living Coaching.
Right now we've got a free 14-day trial going on. You got nothing to lose whatsoever. You can sign up at stablelivingcoaching.com.
I appreciate you, my friends, and I wish you an awesome week.
And remember, you cannot fail as long as you Don't Ever Stop Chasin’ It
