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It’s time to Thrive!
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this episode of the Stable Parenting Podcast, formerly The Horsemanship Journey Podcast. My name is Shane Jacob, your host, and I thank you for taking your time to be here with me today. This episode is brought to us by Cowboy Cuffs. Elevate your style, elevate your life, elevate each other.
This particular shirt, if you're on video, is a denim and leather. Got my cool cufflinks here. This shirt is called The Super Dude. So, looking pretty dapper in my Cowboy Cuffs shirt. Appreciate Cowboy Cuffs. By the way, coming soon, not released yet, not launched, not available yet, but coming soon. Keep your eye out for Cowboy Cuffs.
Today, I want to talk about, a few things. I want to talk about statistics, and I want to talk about going for it. I want to talk a little bit about me.
The thing about it is, I'm in a category that is so rare that most people should say that I shouldn't even be, I shouldn’t even be here. I should be drunk, broke, sick, in jail, or dead, okay? But I'm not, I'm alive. So I'm not according to the statistics.
Now, I'm gonna go through a few things and share a little bit about my life experiences and because my life shows that the odds stacked against you have nothing to do with your results. And the thing about it is, is I'm not special, I'm not any different than any other person. I'm not smarter, I'm not more intelligent or more gifted or more talented than anyone else.
As a matter of fact, people, many, many people have accomplished much, much more than I have with fewer resources than I have. You could even make the case that, you know, if, you know, that I wouldn't have got, had to go through all that I went through if I was, you know, a little more smarter. I mean, you could make that case.
It's not the way I see it because the things that I've been through are the things that have made me to, to brought me to where I am today. And I'm very happy with who I am today and where I am today.
And the reason that I bring this up is, and I'll just tell you, I've been to some places that were not, that I'm not real thrilled to go back to. Those places are the times, the down times, the tough times, the bottom times, the times when I had thoughts of suicide, the times when I had a panic attack, when I felt all alone in the world, when I felt like giving up, when, you know, spent some time in jail, not a happy place to be.
And I could go on, but I'm just saying that because I know what it feels like to be at the bottom. I know what it goes to worry about what other people are thinking and to deal with deep ingrained shame for a long period of time. And, you know, and so what I wanted to share with you and the reason is to show you a couple of things that I've accomplished, not to say that, “Oh I'm so cool. I've accomplished some things.” But to say, “Hey, the things that I've accomplished are not, they don't make me feel a certain way. I felt a certain way, therefore I was able to accomplish these things.”
I followed certain patterns and certain systems and followed certain principles that I talk about and that I, counsel in my coaching and Stable Living Coaching with parents and teens, all of the things that I talk about, those are the things that I live and those are the reasons why I was able to beat the statistics really and accomplish things that most people are not able to accomplish. Not just a couple of things, many things. Okay?
And so here's the thing, if anyone applies the systems and the patterns of thinking, okay, follows the principles, that I talk about every week on this podcast and I go through with, with hundreds of people in Stable Living Coaching. If you, anyone does those things you can accomplish literally whatever you want to accomplish, and it doesn't matter if the odds are stacked against you.
And that's what I was going to prove. The point of me bringing this up is really to prove that you and help you show what may be possible for you. Okay.
So this is eight quick examples, or I don't know about quick, but I'm going to go for it. Here's eight examples, okay, of what is possible for my life, for my life story.
Number one is long-term sobriety after an extended alcohol use. And I'm talking about, I drank daily excessively. I don't mean more than six or seven beers. I mean, I drank to excess, big time excess on a daily basis, daily without fail. Didn't miss any days for over 20 years.
Okay. Then I quit and I didn't, I didn't go into a rehab. I went to a three day detox and, and a decision that I never turned back on. Okay. And I've been sober, coming up very close to 10 years now, nine plus coming up on 10.
Now, according to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, it's only less than one in five people who struggle with alcohol ever achieve long-term sobriety. And for people with decades of daily use, it's less than 1% reach 10 years clean without relapse. So that's number one.
Number two, quitting tobacco for good. I used smokeless tobacco daily for over 20 years, quite a bit over 20 years. Okay. I quit and I've stayed tobacco free for more than five years. So according to the CDC quit tobacco rates, it's fewer than 5% of long-term users manage to quit and remain tobacco-free for five years or more. I'm just a little bit past the five-year mark and I'm not going back.
Three, significant weight loss, lost and maintained now for coming up right at a decade also. I lost 35 pounds and I kept it off for a decade, for 10 years. And there's only about 1% of people who lose 30 plus pounds and manage to maintain that loss for 10 years or longer. That's according to the National Weight Control Registry.
This is a fun one. When I was 55, which was just a minute or two ago, at age 55, I ran a half marathon with my daughter. That was a highlight because I got to run it with my daughter. So I, I'd never, I'm not a runner, you know, I hadn't really ran since high school. I'm in decent shape, but I found an online schedule or a training guide and it said, you know, do this and do this every day.
And so I followed this online training guide for 11 weeks and I went to Jackson Hole, Wyoming and did this Grand Teton half marathon race with my daughter when I was 55 years old. My goal was to not to walk. I didn't stop at all the stations and I'm just gonna go for 13 plus miles. I'm gonna do this thing.
And I didn't make my goal. I ended up walking between 12 and 13. So my last mile, okay, at a 13 point, I think it's 13.1, it's a half marathon. My last mile I walked a couple of times for a couple of distances, but I made it 12 plus and we had a really good time.
It was a fun time. It was a good time, a positive time, but our time, you know, like our amount of time it took was very, it was good. I can't remember exactly what three… I forgot what it was, but it was a good time.
And the thing about it is, is it's less than, according to Running USA, less than 5% of US men over 50 run half marathons and even fewer percentage than 5% complete them or finish the race, okay.
Number five is would be, you know, before I was 50, I had created over a $2 million net worth. And according to the Federal Reserve Survey of Consumer Finances, fewer than 4% of US households have a net worth that exceeds $2 million. So achieving this before age 50 places me even into a smaller fraction of that 4% group. So there's that.
Number six, just creating a business and being in business for 25 plus years. Now it might be even plus 30 years, I'm not sure, but it's way over 25 years of business ownership with employees. I built and operated businesses for 25 years and they've been my sole source of income.
I've had employees, I've carried the payroll, no backup plan, and we've stayed in business long-term. Now, according to the US Small Business Administration, 80% of small businesses have no employees and only 25% survive past 15 years. So combine these benchmarks with the business owners with employees as a sole income source comprising estimated 1%, a quarter of a percent to 1% is the estimated of the US adult population that does that, okay? That creates a business and stays in long-term with employees.
Number seven is, you know, I’ll call it legal rehabilitation. Okay. I went from a felony conviction when I was maybe 24 years old to a full pardon.
Okay. So after being convicted of a felony, I did all the legal obligations, including paying all the fines and restitution. I didn't commit any additional crimes for over the 20 years, which is that alone by itself is exceptionally rare because according to the Bureau of Justice statistics, 82% of state prisoners are re-arrested within 10 years of release.
And then I applied for and received a full pardon from the Board of Pardons Commissioners. Okay, so this is a big and extensive, it includes a background investigation and formal application and hearing before the Nevada Board of Pardons Commissioners, and that consists of the governor, the Supreme Court justices, and the attorney general.
So the Nevada Board of Pardons receives approximately 1,000 pardon applications per year. They only will hear about 2% of those and only about half of those that they hear are granted, roughly. Which means only about 1% of the people that apply for a pardon are ultimately pardoned each year. Okay, 1%.
Number eight, the final one on my list today is the restoration of my church's membership. So I was disfellowshipped through my church's discipline process. And then after 20 years, I took the necessary steps to come back and have my membership fully reinstated.
Okay, so the church doesn't publicly disclose specific statistics on the duration of disfellowshipment or the frequency of how many people reinstate after such long periods of time. However, having my membership reinstated after such an extremely long period of time is definitely indeed uncommon. It's extremely rare.
This was a big one for me. That had a lot of meaning. It was one of the most difficult ones. I’ve learned so much about forgiveness. I learned about mercy. I learned about forgiving myself. And it was not an easy process. None of these number eights were easy processes. I can assure you of that.
The thing of it is, if you just take a look at them, here's the odds in numbers:
So here's the thing, okay? These by themselves individually are kind of interesting to say, well, you got one of them done. But the thing of it is, is being able to accomplish all eight of these, I'm within like a fraction of a fraction of a percent of people who are able to accomplish this sort of thing.
So this isn't, again, this is not about me. Okay. It's not saying I'm special. And it's not about theory and it's not about my ideas are special.
What it is about, this is math, okay? It's mathematics and it shows what I'm attempting to demonstrate with this list of eight is that radical change is available for anyone. Anyone who is willing to, like I said, do the thought patterns, understand, be willing to it and go through the systems and processes that we outline all the time in this podcast and in Stable Living Coaching.
They, you know, basically they prove that with resolve, which means commitment, okay, and a plan that you can beat the odds, regardless of where you are, okay, regardless of where you are.
I just found out today that a man I know, a pretty good acquaintance of mine, it looks like they're not 100% for sure at this moment, but it looks like he might have ended his own life, like he might have committed suicide. And just within a day or two, and it's pretty disturbing to me to hear news like this.
Maybe you've experienced—most of us have—people that we know, and a lot of times people that are up close. I've also had very up close people that I've known and loved very much up close that have committed suicide. This one just right here is the most, it's right near and so it's so close to me right now.
And the reason I'm bringing this up is to make the point that, you know, I had a choice. You know, I could have also taken my own life many times, as could you. You know, we all have a choice every moment.
And I would just suggest to you that my story just demonstrates some choices that I made, a lot of bad choices and hopefully less bad choices as I live, you know, as I continue on. But a lot of times those, the things that seem so terrible, they seem so, so permanent—you know, the immediate seems permanent—and it's not.
And so it really doesn't matter. You could be in the depths of your lowest low, okay. Or you could be right on the edge of something magnificent. Wherever you're at, right? And wherever you're at in relationship to me, okay. Maybe you're like, “Oh, wow, that's pretty impressive. I'd like to do a few of those things.” Or maybe you're like, “Hey, that's nothing. I mean, I could beat you. You know, I've got accomplished way more than you have, Shane.” It doesn't matter to me.
The point that I'm attempting to demonstrate today is that regardless of where you are, progress is possible. And what you want to do, to accomplish in your own life is possible—regardless of the odds and regardless of what you feel like in this moment. Regardless what you feel like in your lowest of lows.
And that, my friends, is the truth.
I so much appreciate you taking your time to be with me today. Remember, you cannot fail as long as You Don't Ever Stop Chasin’ It.
